SORE BUTT

ALTERNATIVES

Udder Butter (7oz @ $4.00, 33oz @ $9.00)

Ingredients: Oxyquinoline 0.22% in a base of Petrolatum*, Animal Oil, Lanolin, Castor Oil, and Fragrance.

Bag Balm (10oz Can @ $6)

Active Ingredients: Hydroxyquinoline sulfate 0.3% in a petrolatum* lanolin base.

Udder Salve by Udder Balm (5oz can @ $5.49)

Ingredients: Similar to the above* but with Vitamin E & Aloe.

Rite Aid A&D Ointment (4oz tube @ $4.99)

Active Ingredients: Contains: Petrolatum* (53.4% - Skin Protectant), Lanolin (15.5% - Skin Protectant). Inactive Ingredients: Cod Liver Oil (contains Vitamin A & Vitamin D), Fragrance, Light Mineral Oil, Microcrystalline Wax, Paraffin.

Chamois Butt'r; (8oz tube @ $11.95)

Ingredients: Water, Mineral Oil, Ethylene Glycol Monostearate, Stearic Acid, Cetearyl Alcohol, Stearyl Alcohol, Propylene Glycol, Sorbitol, Vitamin E, Vitamins A and D, Propylparaben, Methylparaben, Sodium Hydroxide, Aloe, Lanolin.

ASSOS Chamois Cream: (4oz @ $16.95)

Ingredients: Water, Glycerine, Propylene Glycol, Decyl Oleate, Polydecene, Which Hazel Extract, Almond Oil, Sorbitan Stearate, Menthol, Cyclomethicone, Oak Bark Extract, Methylparaben, Retinyl Palminate, BHA.  Made of 100% natural ingredients & washes out cleanly from shorts

Cafe Chamois Cream: (4oz @ $12.00)  I think the big difference between Branford Bike's Cafe-brand creme and the Assos is the menthol. Both work very well. For a "spinchick," she may not want that "Agh . . . ." feeling down there.

*Petrolatum = Vasaline (a brand name petrolatum product).  Note: The Chamois Butt'r & Assos Creme are reportedly more susceptible to breaking down under heavy sweating or on rainy rides since they are designed to more easily wash-out of your shorts.

Assos Chamois Cream costs a fortune, but it is acclaimed by the professionals as the ultimate solution to the sore fanny.  If Lance Armstrong chooses to swab his shorts liberally with it, what better recommendation can we get.

Other formulae are significantly less expensive, but none of them do the complete job (see Homebrew below):

  - Antibaterial, antifungal, and medicates saddle sores

  - Bond, preserve, and easily wash out of chamois.

  - Hold up in long rides

  - Mentholated to cool the "burn"

HOME-BREW RECIPES

Dealing with cosmetic products is close to buying from the Snake Oil salesman -- a lot promise for a LOT of money and enormous profit.  Why not build your own Butt Salve?  First, click here to see the purpose of each indredient then mix and match with less expensive components.  Also Witch Hazel Extract, BHA,

The purpose of chamois butter/creme is three-fold:

1) to form a type of bond between the rider and the pad, eliminating movement and therefore discomfort, bunching, and chafing;

2) to condition the pad by making it last longer and be softer and more comfortable on one's nether regions;

3) to use its antibacterial agents to keep the user healthier and freer from saddle sores and bacterial growth.

Don't use Vaseline!!! It's used and designed as a lubricating agent, so one's butt slides against the pad rather than "sticking" to it, does nothing to keep the user free from bad bacteria, and doesn't wash out easily.

You might add Noxema Original Deep Cleansing Creme to your brew.  It is sold in a short, 14 oz blue jar: cheap, water soluble, doesn't plug pores, and works.  Ingredients: Water, Stearic Acid, Linum Usitatissimum (Linseed) Seed Oil, Glycine Soja (Soybean) Oil, Fragrance, Ammonium Hydroxide, Camphor, Menthol, Eucalyptus Globulus Leaf Oil, Propylene Glycol, Gelatin, Calcium Hydroxide.  The scented camphor and menthol ingredients cause a tingling sensation on application and are designed to open up skin pores, and help to moisturize.

SADDLE SORES

While many cyclists use the phrase "saddle sore" to relate to any tender or chafed skin, a true saddle sore is a bacterial infection of a hair follicle, (usuallly) aggravated by riding and remaining in shorts that don't breathe. If it ruptures, it can be infected and keep you off the bike for weeks.

Any astringent can help (e.g. acne medicine). The main goal for recovery is to keep it CLEAN, DRY, and with no rubbing or pressure. Skip the briefs, wear baggy clothes. Saddles sores can cost racers entire seasons.

A great remedy for saddle sores and/or chafing is to apply prescription-strength (1.0%) hydrocortisone ointment or cream to the area when not riding. Of course, this is the stuff that Armstrong was using in the 1999 Tour causing him to show traces of cortisone and thus get the French media all in a spaz.